1/15/2008

SAME EXACT BLOG BUT TOTALLY DIFFERENT

As you all know, this is the blog of the band Breakup Breakdown. We have been a band, with a couple different names and a few different line-ups, for a bunch of years now. We have just finished a new album entitled Glowing. Since the completion of the album we've been on a break which has given us time to pursue some different musical projects. James has joined the band Feel So Good, Let's Do It and Jeff, Wyatt, Drew and I are exploring our Americana roots in a brand new group called Bel Air.

I will not be posting here in the foreseeable future. But, I, and everyone else who ever contributed to this blog, will be posting in a new location. Please update the bookmarks that I know you all have to this url:

http://belairtheband.blogspot.com/

Check it often as I will be posting about the exciting adventure of recording our album and, of course, the assorted bullshit that you have come to know and... love? like? like a little? Circle one and pass it to me between home ec and soc.

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1/08/2008

I'M FAMOUS

Or, something like that. Check me out in Keyboard Magazine. I had to scan in the print version of the article instead of just giving you the link because Keyboard Magazine can't seem to get their shit together and post the December issue online. But, I guess I shouldn't bite the hand that writes an article about me. Click on the image and then go to "All Sizes" to get to a bigger version that you can actually read.

Keyboard Magazine Article

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1/02/2008

APPARENTLY, THERE IS NO END TO THIS INSANITY

Here is Sharon Stone wearing yet another animal carcass.


Sharon Stone

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WHO DOESN'T HAVE TACO FEVER??

Seriously, I ask you.

I have taco fever

Fish Tacos!

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HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM BREAKUP BREAKDOWN!!

Ah. New Year's Day. One of my favorite days of the year. It's a day during which you can sleep in until 2, stay in bed for another few hours watching a DVD, then, if you're feeling energetic, pull up to the cellphone to order some hangover-nursing Chinese food. A Law and Order: SVU marathon later and you've got yourself a day. These are the kinds of luxuries an old maid like me can afford to indulge in - if only once a year without guilt.


2008! But, before we get excited, we must first deal with 2007. I think it's about time for a recap/round-up/best-of situation, don't you? Alright, here goes:

(the opinions here-in are those of Allie Breakup and only Allie Breakup)

Best Album of 2007: In Rainbows - Radiohead. I can't think of an album that I listened to or enjoyed more than this in the past year. Runner Up: Wilco - Sky Blue Sky

up-radiohead

Best Song of 2007: According to my Creative Zen Vision:M (god, that's a catchy name), the song I listened to most was Challengers by the New Pornographers. Neko, you can do no wrong.

Best Live Show of 2007: Besides the show that BUBD played at the outdoor scooter festival (kidding), I am going with Wilco at Warsaw. See my ecstatic review here. Runner Up: Ida/Tara Jane O'Neil at the Knitting Factory.

Best Movie of 2007: No Country For Old Men. Runner Up: Hot Fuzz

Best Wedding of 2007: Jeff and Whitney. Runner Up: Pete Doherty and Kate Moss but since their Buddhist ceremony wasn't legally binding I'm not sure it counts. Those two can't catch a break.

Cutting the cake

Best Muffin of 2007: Sprinkle muffin on the day of Whitney and Jeff's wedding.

Sprinkle Muffins are delicious

Worst Attempt to cover up Plastic Surgery of 2007:
Joan Van Ark. I resolve to not look at pictures of this kind in 2008.

don't ever get plastic surgery

Best Christmas Ornament that looks like Mr. Hanky of 2007:
Sorry, Mom.

Mr. Hanky's photo negative

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12/20/2007

CHRISTMAS IS COMING AND ALLIE'S GETTING FAT!!!!!

A storm of Christmas baking is showing up on the Doppler radar. It's going to hit my kitchen tonight at about 6pm and is forecasting a Christmas-y mix of cookies with a chance of some Bourbon Nut Bread.

OK - have you had enough of that analogy? 'Cause I have.

I'm making -
Jan Hagels
Speculaas
Linzer Cookies with Raspberry jam
Lemon Cornmeal cookies
World Peace Cookies

The first two are pretty tradish Dutch holiday cookies. The others are just delish.

After all of these cookies and (hopefully) lots of Moose Munch pretty soon I'm going to have to use a coat hanger to zip up my jeans. A few days of Atkin's in the new year are going to be in order. But, no need to think about that yet. It's the eating season!

And, if you are wracking your brain trying to think of what to get Breakup Breakdown for Christmas - don't worry - we want the same thing as last year.

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12/10/2007

HA

12/06/2007

YEAH, DUDE

kombucha

Isn't it just like a Good 'Ol Boy to drink a Gingerberry Kombucha?

This pic was taken last night during a recording session for the yet-to-be-named new project that Jeff, Wyatt and I are working on. Whatever it's called it's gonna be GOOD. Stay tuned for more info.

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11/28/2007

HAHA!

I laugh every time I see a guy eating a Luna bar.

luna

They're for women, jackass! Ha!

Here's one of my favorite bands of all time:

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11/12/2007

CITRUS PERCUSSION

Check out this video of Radiohead in which you can see Jonny Greenwood using a lemon shaker. I believe we used the orange version of this on our new record. Or, did we just think about using it? I forget.



Thanks for the video, Terri!

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11/09/2007

ALLIE'S TOP FIVE LEAST FAVORITE SONGS OF ALL TIME

5. Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield
4. True Colors - Cyndi Lauper
3. Lean on Me - Bill Withers
2. Virginia Plain - Roxy Music
1. Black Betty - Ram Jam or anybody else.

Check out this video posted on YouTube by Toddski (who else?)

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11/07/2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Happy Birthday to my hero, Roberta Joan Anderson, who is 64 today.

joni_mitchell

ssjonimitchell2

LW-4

Joni_mitchell2

Happy birthday Joni!

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11/05/2007

JURY DOODIE

It's kind of fun! We'll see if the fun lasts for two weeks. Probably not.

I'm on a Grand Jury in the narcotics division of the Manhattan courts. I can't tell you any more than that because it's TOP SECRET! Hah!

11/04/2007

GROSS

I hate to say anything bad about Yankees past, present or future, but I can't help myself. A-Rod turned out to be one disloyal, money-grubbing douchebag, am I right? There had to be a contract for $350 Million over ten years on the table for him to even talk to the Yankees. And, to top off the cake, he is now saying that if he had his pick of all the teams he would choose to play for the Red Sox!! It was bad enough when Giuliani announced that he was going to root for the Sox in the World Series. But, he is a known politically motivated douchebag. I was caught off guard by Rodriguez. Maybe he hyp-no-tized me with his gorgeous green eyes, I don't know. I do know this - green eyes aren't why I watch baseball (for the most part).

Aren't we all forgeting a little something called the biggest and best rivalry in all of sports? I mean, just because we can't gleefully chant 1918 anymore doesn't mean that we all of a sudden are OK with Boston.

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11/02/2007

LOUD!

I'm officially still deaf from the Black Tie Party as Nirvana show at Trash on Halloween.

Don't forget to watch The Next Great American Band tonight at 8 on Fox. I'm rooting for Tres Bien and Sixwire.

tres bien

sixwire

10/31/2007

CAN WE PUT AN END TO THIS INSANITY VOL. V

GYI0050892504.jpg

Sharon Stone, do you really need to wear a fur wrap the size of a king-sized duvet on your back? I really hope this is faux.

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I KNOW YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING

Here's part two of the article that has made this blog what it is today! (That was sarcasm). Do you think people would subscribe to this blog if we offered an autographed picture of BUBD like they suggest in step 2??


20 Steps to Creating a Successful Blog for Your Band (Part 2 of 2)

This is part two of how to build a successful blog. Part one talks about setting up the blog in the right format to gain reader interest. Part two discusses about more promotion techniques and how to keep your readers.



1. Ask people to subscribe. RSS feeds allow users to subscribe to your blog and receive an update when you add new blogs. This makes it convenient for readers so they do not need to check for blog updates. An alternative is to send the updated blog through email, so having both an email subscription and a RSS feed is necessary. Also, make the sign-up process simple and prominent. Display the RSS button everywhere and occasionally mention it in your posts to sign-up. The simpler the process to sign-up, the more chance the reader will go through with the process.

2. Offer a bribe to sign-up. Take an example for Marketing Pilgrim, by offering a $600 cash giveaway by signing-up for a RSS feed. The code to register for the money is in an RSS-only message. Receiving $600 free is pretty convincing to sign-up. Other options to get people to sign up are free e-books related to your topic (“How to Get a Record Deal”), or send a personalized autographed picture of you or the band to those who sign-up.

3. Comment on forums. Comment on blogs. Comment on chats. And comment by providing a link back your blog. By injecting your opinion and showing your personality through these comments, people will notice you and want to find out more. Make sure the comments are meaningful and not just some form of spam to create a link back to you. People appreciate when an expert adds their knowledge, so write truthful comments that will help the audience. Comments are the biggest promotion of your blog in the beginning months of the blog.

4. Leave blogs open for discussion. If compiling a list, ask for comments to add their suggestions for the list. The 5 Rules of Social Media Optimization (SMO) blog by Influential Marketing Blog became instantly popular by people linking to it, posting comments and recommending the blog. After writing a general blog that does not include a list, ask a question at the end to encourage comments and blog discussion. The more, interesting discussion, the more people will link to your blog, promoting it.

5. Respond to comments. Read your comments daily and respond when someone asks a question to you through the comments. Once you start getting a steady reader base that begins posting comments, do not discourage them by never responding back. Respond rapidly to make your reader happy.

6. Start a podcast. A podcast is a great way to promote both your blog and your music. Podcasts are an audio blog, but you should not update it as often as your blogs (unless you just want to run an audio blog exclusively). On the podcast, talk about interesting subjects related to your blog and mention your music often. Play a fraction of your music just prior to and just after your podcast, promoting both your music and your blog.

7. Invite guest bloggers. Be a guest blogger. Your blog gains interest if you occasionally – monthly, quarterly – invite guest bloggers to write. Your business pals become a good place to start when thinking about guest bloggers. The guests then feel flattered by your interest in them and in return promote your blog or music. On the other hand, ask your business friends to guest blog for them, which immensely promotes your music or blog through their site. Whenever you get an opportunity to guest blog, take it.

8. Add videos, pictures, MP3s, etc. Just having words on every blog gets boring. Perk reader’s interest by putting a funny YouTube video in your blog, adding a unique MP3 or taking a snapshot of the website you mention in the blog. Any item out of the norm to create a change will boost your blog’s appeal. Every once in awhile, make your blog a video-blog through YouTube where you narrate the blog (and act as well). You can also create a music video for you or the band and advertise it through your blog.

9. Use tracking software and analyze. Find out how many people are visiting your blogs and which ones generate the most traffic. You should re-create titles and content that receives many views. The tracking software can also tell you how people are hearing about your blog, through Digg, Google, etc. It can give you a great insight on your viewers and many other marketing hints if you are creative.

10. Build a brand. You want people to recognize your blog as an object, not just another blog. Make your blog worthwhile to the reader. Promote the blog with any sources you have. Tell your friends, family and strangers about it. On your website, promote your blog and on your blog promote your website. Do the same with social networking sites, YouTube videos, podcasts, live performances, etc. By marketing in a bunch of different places, you spread your name and have more sources to promote your blog and music.



Your blog will only see success if you follow all these steps and promote it as often as possible. Blogging takes a lot of dedication but pays off in the end with increased music sales. Never stop blogging and remember, you are writing for your audience.

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NOW I'M STARTING TO FEEL BAD.

I've posted a couple unflattering things on here about SJP but now that she has been voted #1 on the Unsexy List I feel a little bad. BUT (there's always a big but), in light of what I've posted about her here I think the following headline is pretty funny. Ok, if not funny then at least uncanny. The rest of the article is pretty mean and Maxim-like so beware:

'Horse-faced' Parker tops the unsexy list
Thursday Oct 25 12:00 AEST
2510_unsexiest_g_lg
Sarah Jessica Parker and (inset, from top) Amy Winehouse, Sandra Oh, Madonna and Britney Spears (Getty Images)

By ninemsn staff

Sex and the City star Sarah Jessica Parker has been crowned the world's unsexiest woman by a US men's magazine.

Maxim.com writers compared Parker, who is married to Matthew Broderick, to famous US racehorses Barbaro and Secretariat and suggested they'd rather be intimate with her co-star, Chris 'Mr Big' Noth.

"How the hell did this broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with 'sex' in the title?" they asked.

British singer Amy Winehouse got the runner-up gong thanks to her "openly hemorrhaging translucent skin, rat's nest mane and lashes that look more like surgically attached bats".

Sandra Oh takes out the bronze medal of shame, although the Maxim crew admitted their resentment stems from "a show about sappy chick doctors we're forced to watch or else our girlfriends won't have sex with us".

"We're holding Dr McSkinny, with her cold bedside manner and boyish figure, personally responsible," they said.

'Menopausal' Madonna is in fourth place, with special mention of her decline from pop-erotic goddess to old Jewish woman.

"Combine a Paris Hilton–like pet accessorizing fetish — only for dirt-poor foreign babies — with a mug that looks Euro-sealed to her skull, and you've got Willem Dafoe with hot flashes," they said.

Britney Spears rounds out the group, with her disastrous VMA awards appearance this year sending the magazine's staff into reminisces about the python-wrapped performances of her prime.

"Since then, she's lost the ability to perform but gained two kids, two useless ex-husbands and about 10kgs of pudge," they added.

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10/25/2007

MILLER CHILL - FINALLY!

Tuesday, as promised, I drank my first, long awaited Miller Chill.

Of course, I loved it. It's refreshing Chelada style was limey and light. In fact, it was very reminiscent of the Sol with a wedge of lime that I had been drinking at the Creek and Cave open mic hours earlier.
But, you see, when you drink Sol or Corona you need to go to the store, pick up a lime, take it home, cut it into wedges and put one into your beer. It's a lot of work, right? With Miller Chill you don't have to worry about all that, man. You can just Chill and enjoy a frosty lime flavored brew without lifting a finger.

Hopefully, this was my first of many Miller Chills. Well done, Miller.

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10/23/2007

LOOKS LIKE I'M A ROCKIES FAN NOW

In other news, there has been a Miller Chill sitting in Wyatt's fridge for three days that has my name on it. I bought it on Sunday and still have not had but a sip. Why? I passed it up on Sunday at the Breakup Breakdown band meeting in which we ate Chinese food and decided on the order for our upcoming full length (boy, is it ever) album. I believe my exact words were "I'm not up for it". Odd decision. Anyhoozers, I will drink it tonight and report back tomorrow on how much I loved it.

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10/19/2007

HAVE I MENTIONED I'M A YANKEES FAN?

Right now, I'm not only a Yankees fan but also a Anbody-who's-playing-Boston fan. I hate the Red Sox, particularly Manny Ramirez. Nice single last night, btw, Manny. Jerk. Here he is pictured with his personal barber, LMonstro (As hard as I tried I couldn't convince Wyatt that LMonstro was a stupid name.):

manny1


Lately the Anbody-who's-playing-Boston has been Cleveland. I love this team! They have charm! Personality! Talent! Grady Sizemore is not hurting their cause, either. Have you seen his lips? Luscious doesn't do them justice.

Grady12

Anyway, I'm sad about Joe Torre and I hate the BoSox but I still think this guy is funny:

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HOLY CRAP

Have you heard the new Radiohead album? If the answer is "no" I firmly recommend that you take a quick trip over to www.inrainbows.com and download it. Pay whatever you want!

I thought I was in love with this album and then I listened to it on headphones and really discovered what love means.

up-radiohead

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WEDDING OF THE CENTURY!!

Jeff and Whitney's wedding was amazing!

Cutting the cake

I caught the bouquet. I had no choice! Whitney whipped it right at me!

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10/04/2007

T MINUS 2 DAYS...

...until the wedding of the century. Billy "Peanuts" Mensch is getting married.

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CAN WE PUT AN END TO THIS INSANITY?? VOL. IV

David Guest

This is a picture of David Gest. He is SO creepy that I have no words. David Gest, who are you? Where did you come from? Let's look at your career, shall we?? You married Liza Minelli and then you showed up at an event wearing a sweat suit that you borrowed from Enimem. That's pretty much it, am I right?

Man, I bet Liza's kicking herself for getting divorced from that luscious piece of "man". She might be kicking herself for other reasons, too, though. "Arthur 2: On the Rocks" comes to mind. But, I digress. Back to David. He almost looks like he could be the talentless and tacky little brother of Luciano Pavarotti (may he rest in peace).

pavarotti

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10/02/2007

BREAKING THE RULES!!!!!!!!

20 Steps to Creating a Successful Blog for Your Band (Part 1 of 2)
Blogs prove to be a tricky field to conquer, especially when it comes to gaining an initial reader-base. However, once you get that reader base, great potential for increasing your online reputation is created. Successful blogs keep their status by following these 20 rules from the start and throughout their blog’s lifetime.

1. Focus the topic. Thousands of different blogs exist on the web. Only the well-established ones can post general news and see success. Instead, focus your blog around a niche. The more narrow the subject, the more likely you will get a steady reader base.

2. Search similar blogs and subscribe. Because there are so many blogs on the internet, chances are somebody somewhere will also be talking about your subject. Find these sites and subscribe to them so you get instant updates. The best action to take is to read up on these blogs and know what they talk about regularly.

3. Create business relationships. By helping out someone else and their blog in some way, they will in return help you and your blog out. One good example is devising a list of online radio stations you can submit your music to and give them the list so they can use it for their benefit as well. By becoming business friends, you can promote each other by talking about one another’s webpage, music, blog, etc.

4. Make quality content. Just writing a blog is not enough. You have to make sure what you are writing is good content. No one will comment or read your blog if the content seems worthless and poorly written. Also, write grammatically. Misspellings are one of the most painful things to witness in blogs.

5. Work on the title. The title is a necessity. The first thing people look at and what makes them read your blog is the title. Titles that hint of content with lists and bullets also draw people in due to the pleasing layout and more white space of lists. If the title perks their interest, they will click on your blog to continue reading. Take the time to think about an interesting title and log which titles draw more readers.

6. Submit to directories. After creating a good content-and-keyword-rich blog, submit it to different directories. Top Blog Area and BlogFlux are two good sites to submit blogs to according to category of blog. Another option is to write just one blog for an established blogging site in the rock music industry and tell them why they should feature your blog on their site. If they choose to put the blog on their site, you will see greatly increased traffic.

7. Get a friend to submit your blog to Digg, StumbleUpon, Technorati, Netscape, and Reddit. These search sites generate a ton of traffic to your site if viewed frequently (or “digged,” “thumbs up” “favored,” etc). However, people view down on you if you constantly submit your own content to these sites, so instead, make a buddy submit your blogs, videos, or podcasts to these sites one or two times a week. Eventually, your good content will make it to the homepage of these content-search sites, generating an unimaginable amount of traffic to your blog.

8. Ping every site. Some submission sites allow you to ‘ping’ them, which means they get an automatic update when you post a new blog. This is good so they always have your latest posts in their records. These sites also allow you to put in key tag terms. By inputting a tag term, your blog will pop up if someone searches for the term you used. For instance, if you are writing about electric guitar comparisons (tag terms) and the searcher inserts “compare guitars,” your blog will show as a result. You must utilize pings and tags to increase your blog popularity.

9. Write regularly and stand out. The only way to gain a steady reader base is if you write a blog regularly. The best blogs update their content daily or sometimes several times a day. As an upcoming artist, though, weekly will suffice if you write on a consistent day around the same time every week. In addition, you need to stand out from other bloggers. Write properly, but use your personality. Personality keeps the blog interesting and keeps readers coming back. In addition, the readers like to be treated as humans, so drop the business lingo. Blogs are for entertainment, so engage your audience. Write for them.

10. Host your blog on your website domain. Using a different host for your blog not only confuses your readers, but also reduces the amount of quality traffic to your site. The only smart way to host a blog is through your own website. If readers like what they read, or you mention something about your music in the blog, they can easily navigate to your website to find out more information. Creating a blog serves the purpose of promoting your music online, which you can only do if you reader can easily access your website from your blog.

This is the end of part one of the two part series to creating a successful blog. Part two goes into more detail on how to promote your blog and see additional success in the first weeks and months of your blog. By Lance Trebesch


I can't wait for part 2!!!!!!

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10/01/2007

SPAM POETRY VOL.5

they never wandered from that point
whileand i have a basket of old finery
i looked
aunt jessie made pinafores by the dozen while
probably prospecting in the wilderness,
forgetful, gone to be married,
and were coming back to live
"no danger", the claims of babarians

This "Aunt Jessie" character seems pretty awesome - prospector and pinafore maker! Could she be the backwoods counterpart to the super-cool, pristinely coiffed, vest wearing "Uncle Jesse" that we all know and love?

---------------------------------------------------

I also got a link that would be helpful for people looking to have a "fungo bat in their pants". I appreciate that there is help for people with such specific needs but I still don't think I'll include the link. I haven't heard/read the word "fungo" since the memorable line in Bull Durham "Having a conversation with you is like a Martian talking to a fungo".


----------------------------------------------------

While were on the subject of baseball. The Yankees are in the playoffs. Yay!

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T MINUS 5 DAYS...

...until the wedding of the century!

Jiffy's getting hitched on Saturday!

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9/20/2007

I FORGOT TWO B'S

Barbecue and Booyah!!

booyah_wolf

9/19/2007

WERE PLAYING!

flyer

Even though it takes place at Brooklyn Bretta, it's not a scooter rally. It's a music festival. A music festival with a beer garden set up and a place to play bocce ball.

Here's what you need to know - Brooklyn Bretta, bands, beer, bocce ball, Breakup Breakdown!

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CAN WE PUT AN END TO THIS INSANITY? VOL. III

insanity

I am friend to the sophistocated jumpsuit. Really, I like them. Back in the 1980's I would flip through the JC Penney catalog with Midge and look at them longingly, hoping one day to be sophistocated enough to wear one to a rooftop cocktail party in New York City where the man of my dreams would take one look at my jumpsuit and fall madly in love and propose on the spot. Ok, so, I thought about it a lot. I have different dreams now but, regardless of all this, Eva Longoria - you can't be serious! Your wrinkles are KILLING ME.

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9/12/2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

You know what is insane? No? Well, I'll tell you! Me and this blog have the very same birthday! That's right! The first post to this blog coincided directly with my 25th birthday! So, now, one year later, I am a ripe 26 and the blog is 1. I have baked a cake so that we can all have a good laugh and take a picture of the blog sitting in its high chair with frosting all over its face.

cake2

Alright, I'm 32. Whatever.

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9/11/2007

AWESOME GRAFITTI

This is on Wythe Avenue in Williamsburg, not far from our practice space.

Cereal Killers

Cereal Killers

I always knew that Trix bunny guy was 100% gangsta.

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PETE'S SHOW

Here are a couple pics from the Boy Genius CD release party at Pete's.

wyatt and james

Pete's Stage

Boys at Pete's

9/07/2007

SUMMER ENDS

As I was trying not to take my time in the locker room at the gym, I had a thought. Summer's ending. That bittersweet thought reminded me of the song "The Summer Ends" by American Football. In my search to find some live footage of that song on Youtube I came across this video of Mike Kinsella (American Football, Owen, Joan of Arc, Cap'n Jazz) covering Wilco. So, why not kill two birds with one stone and watch this video of a great covering a great:

9/06/2007

WERE ON ONE OF THOSE FANCY PODCASTS!

We're on Master Debaters! You can hear our songs at the end of episodes 11 and 12.

Check it out!

www.masterdb8.com

9/05/2007

GODDAMN IT

I still haven't tried Miller Chill. I'm disappointed in myself.

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BALLYHOO!!!

According to Jason Genius, Breakup Breakdown's acoustic set is "much ballyhooed". We've never been so flattered.

We are playing the aforementioned acoustic set at Pete's Candy Store on Saturday night! We're on first (eight o'clock), followed by Boy Genius, followed by Private Eleanor (Baltimore). The show is free plus Boy Genius will be giving away free cd's because it is their CD release party! I was lucky enough to receive an advance copy because I sat in on keys on a couple tunes so I can tell you first hand that it is a kick ass recording.

Let's see... what else can I tempt you with... Currently on the special cocktails list at Pete's is a drink called the Jamaican Firefly which is made of Gosling's dark rum, fresh lime juice, simple syrup and ginger beer. I know a certain someone who would love that drink. You know who you are. I won't name any names because that would be indiscrete. Jamie Mack. There. I said it. Shoot.

Here's a cute pic of some Boy Geniuses:

Chris and Jeff

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8/22/2007

IT'S NEVER TOO EARLY

Today, midtown New York City was dotted with men dressed as Santa Claus. I spotted eight of them from a single vantage point. What is the meaning of this nonsense, you ask?? They were handing out fliers to let people know that tickets are now on sale for the most spectacular celebration ever - The Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me and my best friend, Midge Turner, have always wanted to be Rockettes. We stayed up all night training one time. We must have done a million kicks in the classic Rockette style. Knee, kick, knee, kick. After that night we thought we were shoe-ins.

rockettes


Given this history, I still think it's too early to be fliering for a corny Christmas show. Do I need to remind everyone that it's AUGUST??????? I believe I've ranted about this subject before.

I'm going to need a lot of Miller Chill to get through the holidays this year.

MillerChill_Bottle

I haven't tried it yet but I read a review of it that compares it to Tequiza and Zima so I pretty much know that it's going to be my favorite beverage of all time.

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8/16/2007

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MUSIC

Alli

Oh, how I wish this product and I didn't share a name. Maybe it's me, but I don't like being associated with things that cause "gas with oily discharge, inability to control bowel movements, oily or fatty stools, and oily spotting", to quote an article from cbs.com.

I know, I know. It's pronounced ally. Still. Too close for comfort.

Guuhh. Grossssssssssss.

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8/13/2007

SPAM POETRY Vol. 5

At four, the spectators leave in pairs, off
Rise, to the muffled chime of churchbell choir.
Or by the loud hand of painting, always puts.
Beneath a pile of corpses, lying massed
For any part of them we can make out
Rain. We are forced to fly,
Wind, sleet. The branches sway,
will be penciled on the coffeeshop menus.
shortcake, waffles, berries and cream
snowdrops and crocuses might be fooled
IX. After the Great Northern Expedition
To reach out into its own vanishing
Sculpting each tree to fit your ghostly form
As if your absence now concluded long ago.
By what it seems to have moved toward. In any
Gray the cloud-like oaks
As distant memories, through the fog-dimmed light,
Empty streets I come upon by chance,
XX. To the Pole


This is a special day. Not only did a new spam poem show up in my inbox but it was accompanied by an oh-so-helpful price chart for software.

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I wish every item up for sale came with a non-sensical poem. It would make shopping that much more fun!

Please note that there is a line in this poem that was also included in Spam Poetry Vol. 4. I wonder - is the mysterious spam poet getting writers block? Or, is "The Great Northern Expedition" a recurring theme we should keep watching for? I'm on the edge of my seat! It's like a goddamn friday episode of Days.

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