CAN WE PUT AN END TO THIS INSANITY? VOL. III

I am friend to the sophistocated jumpsuit. Really, I like them. Back in the 1980's I would flip through the JC Penney catalog with Midge and look at them longingly, hoping one day to be sophistocated enough to wear one to a rooftop cocktail party in New York City where the man of my dreams would take one look at my jumpsuit and fall madly in love and propose on the spot. Ok, so, I thought about it a lot. I have different dreams now but, regardless of all this, Eva Longoria - you can't be serious! Your wrinkles are KILLING ME.

IT'S NEVER TOO EARLY

Today, midtown New York City was dotted with men dressed as Santa Claus. I spotted eight of them from a single vantage point. What is the meaning of this nonsense, you ask?? They were handing out fliers to let people know that tickets are now on sale for the most spectacular celebration ever - The Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me and my best friend, Midge Turner, have always wanted to be Rockettes. We stayed up all night training one time. We must have done a million kicks in the classic Rockette style. Knee, kick, knee, kick. After that night we thought we were shoe-ins.




Given this history, I still think it's too early to be fliering for a corny Christmas show. Do I need to remind everyone that it's AUGUST??????? I believe I've ranted about this subject before.

I'm going to need a lot of Miller Chill to get through the holidays this year.



I haven't tried it yet but I read a review of it that compares it to Tequiza and Zima so I pretty much know that it's going to be my favorite beverage of all time.

LAUGHED

The Onion is now online. It has tons of funny videos! And fake headlines! And personals! I can't figure out if those are real or not. It also has a section of fake magazine covers like this one:



This is particularly funny to me because of following photo which was taken by my BFF, Midge "Tina" Turner on the Upper West Side. I love Sharpies.